Week 9 Storytelling: The Cloud Man
Clouds from pexels
There once was a man who lived far away from the sea. He worked as a mechanic in a local shop. One day, an old man brought in his vehicle that looked barely sturdy enough to drive and asked for it to be repaired. Not even sure where to begin, the mechanic became frustrated. Throwing down his hand towel, he exclaimed: "I just want to be a tree in the forest. It must be peaceful there without any cars for me to fix". Smiling, the old man replied: "Go now, be a tree". In a split second, the mechanic found himself rooted in the ground in the outskirts of the town. He took a deep breathe and let the wind blow through his branches. Shortly after, a lumberjack came by and began chopping the tree down. Panicked, the mechanic yelled: "This really hurts! I do not want to be a tree anymore, I wish to be a lumberjack". A little slower to respond, the old man said: "As you wish, be a lumberjack". Now as a lumberjack, he spent day and night cutting down trees. Soon, his hands began to blister and body became sore. Frustrated, the mechanic exclaimed: "This is more work than being a mechanic, I wish to be a cloud so I can float in the skies". Showing signs of fatigue, the old man replied: "If you must, be a cloud". Floating above the town, the mechanic drifted away from his home. He soon came to the edge of the ocean and became tired of providing shade for everyone below. The heat of the sun become overwhelming and he yelled: "The sun has burnt my back, I wish to cool down and become the ocean". To his dismay, the old man was nowhere insight. His fatigue prevented him from following the cloud. Now, the mechanic was stuck as a cloud, forever soaking up the suns radiation and shading those below.
Authors Note:
This story was based on The Man in the Moon. I modified the changes the man made but kept the dialogue similar to the original. I also adjusted the story to show the old man's fatigue so it did not come as a surprise at the end of the story. In addition, I added a geographical barrier to further the old man's inability to change the mechanic.
What a great story. I've always loved adaptations where they specifically DON'T adapt a part of it. Like the movie Romeo + Juliet, where they used the traditional dialogue but set it in modern day Miami. It can really create a cool effect, and, while the difference isn't as stark here, I think the main idea still stands. Overall I think this is a great story, and it actually makes me want to go read the original and explore this style of adaptation!
ReplyDeleteI really loved your changes to this story! I grew up hearing this story many times. My mom always read me the Giving Tree and my dad always told the story of The Man in the Moon. I liked how you kept pieces of it the same, but just made it more modern. It's like a piece of my childhood got a little update. Thanks for the story and great job!
ReplyDeleteHey Evan! This story is great. I really like what you did to change it from the original. I really enjoyed how you modernized the story a little bit because that is what I am trying to do with most of my stories. Overall, this was a great story and it caused me to go back and read the original.
ReplyDeleteHi Evan! This is a story that seems to come up in a lot of cultures and I really like your retelling of it. I especially like the way that you ended it, because there's something funny about the fact that he's stuck as a cloud because of logistics rather than the man explicitly teaching him a lesson.
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